What to expect

How children may respond at different ages

Children and young people experience grief differently at different ages and stages of development. Their understanding of death, and their ability to express feelings, grows over time. This means their reactions may change as they get older, and may not always look like adult grief.

Understanding what is typical for your child’s stage can help you make sense of their behaviour and feel more confident in how you support them.

0-5 years 6-12 years 13-18 years

0-5 years

Babies and toddlers (0–3 years)

Young children do not understand death, but they feel changes around them.

They may:

Become more unsettled, clingy, or tearful
Show changes in sleep or feeding
React to the emotions of the adults caring for them

Dad sat on the sofa with his arm around his son

Young children (3–5 years)

Children at this age may not understand that death is permanent. They might believe the person will come back.

They may:

Ask repeated questions about what has happened
Use play to express thoughts or feelings
Seem unaffected at times, then suddenly upset

6-12 years

Primary school age (6–11 years)

Children begin to understand that death is final, but may still find it hard to process.

They may:

Worry about their own safety or others dying
Feel sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion
Have difficulty concentrating at school
Show physical symptoms like tummy aches

Dad talking to his upset son on the sofa

13-18 years

Mother talking with her daughter on the sofa

Teenagers (12+ years)

Teenagers understand death more like adults, but may struggle to express their feelings.

They may:

Withdraw or spend more time alone
Show strong emotions, or appear numb
Take on more responsibility, or resist support
Seek support from friends rather than family

A gentle reminder

Children’s grief is not always visible. They may return to everyday activities quickly, then revisit their grief later.

You do not need to have all the answers. Being present, listening, and offering reassurance can make a meaningful difference.

Father typing on laptop next to his young son

Request support

Request support from SeeSaw when someone has died.

Request form

Young boy reading a book sitting next to his dad

Resources

Books and other resources to support children when someone has died.

View resources

Stories from families

Read stories from families supported by Seesaw Grief Support.

View stories

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Email Us

Office: info@seesaw.org.uk
The office is open:
Monday – Friday
8:30am – 4:30pm

Fundraising:
fundraiser@seesaw.org.uk
Fundraising is open:
Monday – Thursday
8:30am – 4:30pm

Call Us

01865 744768

Our phone line is open:

Monday: 8:30am – 4:30pm
Tuesday: 8:30am – 4:30pm
Wednesday: 1:30pm – 4:30pm
Thursday: Closed
Friday: 8:30am – 1pm

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Find Us

SeeSaw, Bush House, 2 Merewood Avenue,
Oxford OX3 8EF

DONATE

Registered charity no: 1076321