Kate’s Story
Kate’s Cotswold Way Ultra Challenge for SeeSaw Grief Support
“In June 2026, I’ll be taking on the Cotswold Way Ultra Challenge. I’ll run 77km (75km as part of the official ultra, and an extra 2km) to mark what would have been my dad’s 77th birthday year (and a final big challenge for my 20s before I turn 30 the following month!)
I’m fundraising for SeeSaw, a grief support charity for children and young people in Oxfordshire. SeeSaw supported me and my sister when we lost our dad suddenly at a young age. At a time when the world felt confusing, SeeSaw gave us space to talk, to feel, and to grieve in our own ways. If my run can help another child feel supported and heard in their grief, then every kilometre will be worth it!”
Kate Reflects on her Support from SeeSaw:
How did your support from SeeSaw impact you?
Grief was very confusing and overwhelming at that age, but speaking to our support worker helped me start to work through those feelings. My mum always says that I asked a million questions in the months following the loss of my dad, and some of those questions were really hard. I’m just so grateful that our support worker was there and could hold space for them, especially away from my mum who was also grieving. Knowing that pressure was taken off her gives me a real sense of relief now.
We still have our memory box now, filled with things we made for my dad during our sessions – crafts, cards etc. – and also little bits of his such as his tie, and his work card. Even now I love looking through it. It feels like we still have a little box of Dad there with us.
I also remember the people we met through SeeSaw, other families going through the same things. We used to have days out together. Socialising with other kids going through the same thing was comforting, and again, for my mum having a friend who truly understood must have been incredibly supportive. I always look back on those days out as fun, and I think that’s so important for kids going through a difficult time.
What would you say to your younger self now?
Life is going to carry on, and sometimes that can feel really wrong, but it doesn’t mean Dad is ever forgotten. In many ways, living on is exactly what he would have wanted for you. It might feel weird and confusing for a while, and then slowly start to make more sense…. even when it does, needing help later is still okay. Even years on, it’s completely valid to ask for support again, grief doesn’t expire.
Anniversaries, and sometimes completely random moments can feel really hard, and getting older and approaching milestones where you’d want your dad there, especially when your friends all have theirs, is going to hurt. Accepting that this is okay doesn’t mean you’re going backwards, it just means you’re human.
You should be so proud of yourself, for getting through something a lot of kids will never have to.
And lastly, your support system (most specifically your mum!!) is just absolutely incredible.
What advice would you give to a bereaved young person?
Talk as much as you can. Holding things inside makes it feel much heavier, and you don’t need to be strong all the time. It’s SO okay to admit when something hurts or feels confusing, and there is absolutely no right way to grieve – it’ll show up at unexpected times and in unexpected ways, but with the right support you can find your way through it.
Your friends might not be going through the same things as you and that can feel lonely at times, but it doesn’t mean they don’t care, it just means they may not fully understand yet. You’re not alone though and there are so many people out there that will get it.
