Supporting children when someone is seriously ill
When someone in the family is seriously ill
When a parent, sibling or grandparent is seriously ill, children and young people often sense that something is wrong even before they are told. As parents and carers we naturally want to protect them, but most children cope better when they are given clear, honest information about what is happening.
Sharing information in an age-appropriate way helps children feel included and prepared. When children do not have enough information, they may imagine things that are more frightening than the truth.
Talking with your child
What you share will depend on your child’s age and level of understanding.
- Young children usually need short, simple explanations and may ask the same questions many times.
- Primary school children often understand more but may still have misunderstandings, so it helps to check what they think is happening.
- Teenagers are more able to think about what the illness might mean for the future and usually benefit from open conversations and the chance to ask questions.
Children with learning or developmental needs may also benefit from clear, simple language and repeated explanations.
Reassurance and routine
Let your child know that there is no right or wrong way to feel. They may feel sad, angry, worried or confused, and these feelings can change from day to day.
It can also help children to know that they are loved, safe and will continue to be cared for, even while someone in the family is very ill.
Keeping familiar routines where possible can help them feel more secure.
Let the school know
Schools play an important role in a child’s life. Let your child’s teachers or school staff know about the illness so they can understand any changes in behaviour, mood or concentration and offer support if needed.
Looking after yourself
If you are caring for someone who is ill, or living with a serious illness yourself, it is important to look after your own wellbeing too. Accept help from others where you can and take time for rest and support.
