Festivals and celebrations
Managing celebrations and special occasions after a bereavement
Family-focused occasions—such as religious, cultural, or seasonal celebrations—can feel especially difficult after someone has died. At certain times of year, there may be many celebrations close together. Even if you choose not to take part, it can be hard to avoid the reminders—lights, music, gatherings, and a general sense of expectation. These moments can bring a mix of emotions and however you are feeling is valid.
Grief and special occasions
There is no right or wrong way to feel after a loss. Everyone grieves differently, and this can be especially noticeable on days that feel important—such as birthdays, anniversaries, or widely celebrated holidays like Diwali, Eid, Hanukkah, or Christmas.
Even if the death happened some time ago, these occasions can still feel challenging. They may bring memories, highlight someone’s absence, or feel very different from how they used to be.
Talking together as a family
It can help to talk openly as a family about what the upcoming days might feel like.
You might:
- Share what you would like to happen
- Talk about anything you would prefer to avoid
- Think about ways to remember the person who has died
Giving everyone the chance to share their thoughts, hopes, and worries can help children and adults feel heard and included.
Balancing grief and expectations
If you are supporting children, you may feel pressure to create a “happy” or “perfect” celebration, even while you are grieving yourself. Children, especially younger ones, may move quickly between excitement and sadness and this can feel hard to manage when your own feelings are different.
It can help to remember that celebrations do not have to be perfect. Small, meaningful moments are enough.
Ways to approach celebrations
There is no single way to manage these occasions and you should find what feels right for your family.
You might:
Start with your child’s expectations
- Ask what they are looking forward to
- Focus your energy on what matters most to them
- Be open to their ideas, which may be simpler than expected
Create space for memories
- Do crafts or activities together, such as making decorations
- Share stories or talk about the person who has died
- Display items that help you feel connected to them
Create or adapt traditions
- Start new traditions as a family
- Include favourite foods, music, or activities of the person who died
- Find small ways to remember them within your celebrations
Plan ahead (if helpful)
- Think about whether you want to visit a special place
- Consider including a memory, such as lighting a candle or setting a place
- Keep plans flexible—it’s okay to change them
Coping during busy or emotional times
Sometimes, these periods can feel like something to “get through,” and that is okay.
You might:
- Let others know if you don’t feel able to celebrate
- Keep plans simple and manageable
- Reach out to friends, family, or support organisations
- Take breaks when you need them
Many people find these times of year difficult, and support is available if you need it.
It’s okay to feel different things
You may notice moments where you feel enjoyment, distraction, or even happiness and you might also notice times when you feel deeply sad. It’s important to remember that both can exist together. Having a lighter moment does not mean you have forgotten the person who died. Their place in your life and your family will still remain.
A gentle reminder
Be kind to yourself and your family during these times.
However you choose to approach celebrations, there is no right or wrong way to do it. With time, many families find ways to carry both their memories and new traditions forward together.
