Impact on families

The death of someone important is an incredibly difficult event whatever the cause of death. However, for families bereaved through suicide there are often additional pressures and challenges. 

Death by suicide can result in families finding the grieving process more complex and complicated than other bereavements. Although the grief may be like that of any other kind of death, the suddenness and shock of a death by suicide can be acutely distressing, confusing and grief can feel more intense and longer lasting. Families are often left with unanswered questions which can be confusing and hard to process. For some there is still a stigma attached to suicide, where it is seen as a crime or a sin. This can make it difficult to talk about with others and be very isolating. 

There will be differences for all members of the family depending on who dies. The death of a parent or a brother or sister or of a partner or child will impact differently on children and adults depending on the previous relationships.

Being in the public eye

The death of a family member by suicide means that grief can be made very public. As well as the funeral, families also have to face an inquest which can be stressful. The full inquest may not be held until months later. This delay can be difficult for families and many feel that they can’t begin to grieve properly until the inquest has taken place. It can also be painful to have the person who has died discussed by strangers or referred to in newspapers or on social media.

It can help to

  • Try and avoid looking at articles about the death
  • Be aware of what is accessible on the internet so that you are prepared for what children may be able to access.

Talking to other people

Death is still a difficult issue for many people to discuss and a death by suicide is probably one of the hardest things to explain or talk about, especially if it is at a time when you are not prepared.

Thinking in advance about some answers to  questions that could come up should make them easier to deal with. Here are a few suggestions:

‘I’m sorry to say that he killed himself – we’re still struggling to understand why.’

‘Jasmine felt she couldn’t go on living anymore and so decided to end her life.’

‘Isaac seems to have felt that suicide was his only choice, which is very painful to think about’